Texts: Job 3; 6:8-13; 7; 10; 12; 17
There are number of references for this entry. I hope you find the time to read them. If not, read ahead and catch up later.
In Chapter 3, Job lamented with a series of statements and rhetorical questions. He cursed the day of his birth, thinking he would have been better if he died at birth. Job’s pain caused him to think his life had no purpose or meaning and hopelessness became his daily food. ‘Why me?’ was his frequent cry, and it’s admittedly ours too, when pain and trials seem insurmountable. In the texts, his bitterness, feelings of despair and subtle wish to die are evident, as he faced the reality of pleading with God for support and answers while He seemed unconcerned. I’m sure that this week that my relatives and other residents of Florida who braced themselves for the SECOND major hurricane in a fortnight may have secretly or openly wondered why they had to endure yet another storm, whilst they were still recovering from hurricane Helene.
We may not share Job’s sentiments, but we may face pain which causes us to reconsider how we could have prevented it, even if it is not a consequence of our choices. As I began to realise the pressure and opposition that would accompany my calling, I wondered whether I would have stopped procrastinating about writing if I knew this in advance. If I could have foreseen the trouble ahead, would God still have had my submission? Though ultimately, I know that God is in control, it was nonetheless frightening that obedience had sparked a war with the enemy in my life. I compared it to previous seasons of my life when I was disobedient to God but through His mercy, hadn’t yet faced my most worrisome trials.
Before you judge me or Job, consider whether you have had (or could possibly have in the future), moments of grief, confusion and trauma so deep, that you feel like God has forsaken you – this must have been how Job felt because all his previous praises to God were forgotten when pain, suffering and loss dominated his life. Though Job was faithful and feared the Lord, suffering revealed more of his humanity as it often does in us; it is common for us to express raw emotions when we are at our lowest moments. Usual bridled speech gives way to laments, regrets and self-pity when we can’t see an exit.
Fellow pilgrims, sometimes raw emotions are all we have. Job did not curse God (or use curse words!), but he grieved. Grieve if you must through your storms. You were designed by a creator who knew you would have those emotions, and will help you to manage them. You are human. Grief is allowed! God understands, and though He seems silent during our most difficult times, our Job 42 moments will come. He knows your thoughts before you say them – there is no point in hiding them from Him. Indeed, in our storms, sometimes the time we spend talking to God may be instrumental in hearing His still small voice or His shouts reminding us to pursue our calling, grow in faith and maturity, or address areas of inconsistencies in our walk with Him. Whether He allows the storms the enemy plots against us or creates them Himself is sometimes mysterious, but we can trust that God is in control.
We will see that by the end of the book, though Job delved in self-pity as he felt his suffering was underserved, he had a higher level of revere for God and humility than he did prior to the attacks. You never know what God will use your pain to teach you and how He will use those lessons to help others too. Exhausted, disoriented and confused – we all will experience storms that threaten to knock the wind out of us, but stay in the fight. Keep praying, even if when you start praying, the very thought of the storm you are praying about, makes you stop praying and start seething inwardly instead! I know what it feels like to think I have a break from the storm to pray about it, then be interrupted by a more intense version of it! I know what it feels like to kneel to pray and interrupt the prayer myself to consider a whole grocery list of options of insulting words that I could tell the perpetrators if I wasn’t restrained by God! I know what it feels like to start praying and be so disturbed by the storm that the peace I felt at the beginning of the prayer is replaced by anger and a desire to get even. A lesser version of me is inclined to retaliate, and though I have made leaps in this area by slowly learning to leave the ultimate enemy to God, on some occasions during this season I felt a bit of my own noise is what the perpetrators needed! I don’t encourage you to feel or do the same, but I do believe honesty about our humanity is the first step in overcoming unholy reactions to suffering caused by others. God has helped me to learn to endure suffering inflicted by others and react differently and He will help you too if like me, your reaction is not always instantly righteous. I am now surprised at myself sometimes; whereas I don’t feel warm, fuzzy feelings about the perpetrators (that is not what forgiveness is – more on that in a future series!), I can safely say I now pray for repeat offenders. These are no longer ‘prayers’ that God will vindicate me by punishing them, but genuine prayers for them to be preserved, and more importantly, to encounter and develop a relationship with Him. More surprising to me is my understanding that I can actual be thankful (what a journey it took for me to accept that!), that this experience has already begun to work for my good, encourage others and above all, glorify God. My writing has gained exposure through this suffering. There would be no blog entry today or ‘Blots, Flaws and Revelations’ if I hadn’t endured some suffering. If all you can muster is one minute or five, keep talking to God. He hears, understands and is refining your character, even if that is the last thing you want to hear today. I’m praying for you too. More next week.
Heartfelt Prayer: God, this situation really disgusts me! The people causing it know what they are doing and they disgust me! I had such a great life. I was very happy and fulfilled before this trauma. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to avoid this suffering. It is too late for that. Now I feel that my best days are gone. Life is not the same without ……… I am disappointed because I know You could have prevented this – You do have all power. Even if you didn’t prevent it, I know You do hear when I plead with You to remove it. Nonetheless, You are in control. Help me to accept that You don’t always reveal what you are doing and that You have no plans to harm me. I trust that this will work for my good in the end. Help me to survive this uncertain period. Amen.
